Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

France · The Lyonnais edition

A Press Secretary like none other

Donald J. Trump

Original

I am pleased to announce that the Great Dana White, a violent Fighter and Warrior, has been offered the job of Press Secretary of the United States. I have requested that he bring with him assistants, even though some are not from our Country, of Islam Makhachev, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Justin Gaethje, Daniel Cormier, Amanda Nunes, and Kayla Harris. We need these people to defend us against the Lunatic Left. Dana will be a Press Secretary like none other. Dana, please take the job! President DONALD J. TRUMP

The Lyonnais version

Lyonnais (France)

Satire

Les gones, j’ai proposé à Dana White de devenir mon porte-parole, avec des champions de combat comme assistants.

À Lyon, la formule existe déjà : ça s’appelle Guignol. Depuis deux siècles, il tape sur le gendarme avec son bâton, et tout le monde rit. Dana sera un porte-parole comme on n’en a jamais vu. Dana, accepte, et viens manger au bouchon.

English version

Guys, I’ve asked Dana White to become my press secretary, with fighting champions as his assistants.

In Lyon the formula already exists: it’s called Guignol. For two centuries he’s been whacking the policeman with his stick, and everyone laughs. Dana will be a press secretary like no other. Dana, accept, and come and eat at the bistro.

Lost in translation
  • Guignol, the glove puppet created in Lyon in the early 1800s, is famous for whacking the gendarme with his stick.

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