Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

The Diplomat · The French Diplomat

A Press Secretary like none other

Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrump · Truth Social ·

Original

I am pleased to announce that the Great Dana White, a violent Fighter and Warrior, has been offered the job of Press Secretary of the United States. I have requested that he bring with him assistants, even though some are not from our Country, of Islam Makhachev, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Justin Gaethje, Daniel Cormier, Amanda Nunes, and Kayla Harris. We need these people to defend us against the Lunatic Left. Dana will be a Press Secretary like none other. Dana, please take the job! President DONALD J. TRUMP

The French Diplomat

The French DiplomatA French President or a diplomat of the Quai d’Orsay

Satire

France has always welcomed great champions, including those who come from abroad, and we warmly congratulate Mr White.

We confess to some surprise, however. In the French tradition, a government spokesperson defends the government with words, sometimes a great many words, but rarely with a submission hold.

Version française

La France a toujours accueilli les grands champions, y compris ceux venus de l’étranger, et nous adressons nos chaleureuses félicitations à M. White.

Nous avouons toutefois une certaine surprise. Dans la tradition française, le porte-parole du gouvernement défend le gouvernement avec des mots, parfois beaucoup de mots, mais rarement avec une clé de bras.

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