Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

The Diplomat · The British Diplomat

A Press Secretary like none other

Donald J. Trump

Original

I am pleased to announce that the Great Dana White, a violent Fighter and Warrior, has been offered the job of Press Secretary of the United States. I have requested that he bring with him assistants, even though some are not from our Country, of Islam Makhachev, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Justin Gaethje, Daniel Cormier, Amanda Nunes, and Kayla Harris. We need these people to defend us against the Lunatic Left. Dana will be a Press Secretary like none other. Dana, please take the job! President DONALD J. TRUMP

The British Diplomat

The British Diplomat

Satire

We note with interest the President’s choice of Mr White, whose experience in managing robust exchanges of views is beyond question. The briefing room can indeed be a lively place.

We would simply observe that, in our tradition, a spokesman’s most effective defence remains the phrase “I couldn’t possibly comment.”

What he really means

He is hiring a fight boss to deal with journalists.

We prefer to dodge questions politely. It hurts less.

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