Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

United States · The Boston edition

A Press Secretary like none other

Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrump · Truth Social ·

Original

I am pleased to announce that the Great Dana White, a violent Fighter and Warrior, has been offered the job of Press Secretary of the United States. I have requested that he bring with him assistants, even though some are not from our Country, of Islam Makhachev, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Justin Gaethje, Daniel Cormier, Amanda Nunes, and Kayla Harris. We need these people to defend us against the Lunatic Left. Dana will be a Press Secretary like none other. Dana, please take the job! President DONALD J. TRUMP

The Boston version

Boston (United States)Boston, Massachusetts

Satire

I offered Dana White the press secretary job. Fighter, warrior, the whole deal. He’s bringing a few champions too, some from overseas, don’t care.

You want to handle the press in this country? Kid, I’ve been in the room after the Red Sox lose to the Yankees. Dana, take the job. And bring more guys.

In plain English

He has offered the job to Dana White and his fighters, and doesn’t care where they come from.

As a Bostonian, he knows sports press conferences can be brutal, so Dana had better bring backup.

Version française

The Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees have one of the oldest and fiercest rivalries in American sport.

Lost in translation
  • The Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees have one of the oldest and fiercest rivalries in American sport.

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An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.