Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

Switzerland · The Vaudois edition

Send them directly to me

Donald J. Trump

Original

The threats being made by the Democrat Party against innocent Republican Donors and Party Members are absolutely unprecedented, and totally illegal. Please report them to the Department of Justice, IMMEDIATELY! If you would like, send them directly to me, your President. These SLEAZEBAGS should go to jail for what they are doing. The Senate must act, and stop being pushed around to the point of the Republican Party losing Elections, and worse! Likewise, the DOJ and House of Representatives. Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP

The Vaudois version

Vaudois (Switzerland)

Satire

Bon. Paraît que des gens d’en face embêtent nos donateurs. Moi je dis rien, mais c’est pas joli-joli.

Alors vous faites quoi ? Vous écrivez à la justice. Ou bien, si ça vous arrange, vous m’écrivez à moi, directement. Pas de souci, je lis tout. Enfin, je fais lire. Et merci de votre attention, hein.

English version

Right. Apparently some people on the other side are bothering our donors. I’m not saying anything, but it’s not very nice.

So what do you do? You write to the justice department. Or, if it’s easier, you write to me, directly. No problem, I read everything. Well, I have it read. And thank you for your attention, eh.

All versionsValaisanGenevoisParisienSud de la FranceCh’tiNew YorkDeep SouthYorkshireThe British DiplomatThe French DiplomatThe Swiss President

An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.