Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

France · The Parisien edition

Send them directly to me

Donald J. Trump

Original

The threats being made by the Democrat Party against innocent Republican Donors and Party Members are absolutely unprecedented, and totally illegal. Please report them to the Department of Justice, IMMEDIATELY! If you would like, send them directly to me, your President. These SLEAZEBAGS should go to jail for what they are doing. The Senate must act, and stop being pushed around to the point of the Republican Party losing Elections, and worse! Likewise, the DOJ and House of Representatives. Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP

The Parisien version

Parisien (France)

Satire

Des menaces contre nos donateurs ? Envoyez-les au ministère de la Justice. Ou à moi. Ou au ministère, avec moi en copie. Bref, à moi.

Et traiter les gens de « sales types » avant tout procès, c’est un peu rapide, non ? Merci de votre attention à ce sujet. Je dis toujours ça à la fin : c’est mon côté bien élevé.

English version

Threats against our donors? Send them to the Justice Department. Or to me. Or to the Department, copying me. So, to me, basically.

And calling people “sleazebags” before any trial is a bit hasty, no? Thank you for your attention to this matter. I always say that at the end: it’s my well-mannered side.

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