Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

The Diplomat · The French Diplomat

Send them directly to me

Donald J. Trump

Original

The threats being made by the Democrat Party against innocent Republican Donors and Party Members are absolutely unprecedented, and totally illegal. Please report them to the Department of Justice, IMMEDIATELY! If you would like, send them directly to me, your President. These SLEAZEBAGS should go to jail for what they are doing. The Senate must act, and stop being pushed around to the point of the Republican Party losing Elections, and worse! Likewise, the DOJ and House of Representatives. Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP

The French Diplomat

The French Diplomat

Satire

France condemns, without reservation, any intimidation aimed at citizens because of their political commitments, wherever it comes from. In a democracy, such matters belong to independent justice, and to it alone.

We would add, with all the friendship that unites our two republics, that justice is best served when it is not asked to act “IMMEDIATELY” by the head of state himself.

Version française

La France condamne sans réserve toute intimidation visant des citoyens en raison de leur engagement politique, d’où qu’elle vienne. En démocratie, ces questions relèvent de la justice indépendante, et d’elle seule.

Nous ajouterons, avec toute l’amitié qui unit nos deux républiques, que la justice est mieux servie lorsqu’on ne lui demande pas d’agir « IMMÉDIATEMENT » à l’initiative du chef de l’État lui-même.

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An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.