Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

France · The Sud de la France edition

Send them directly to me

Donald J. Trump

Original

The threats being made by the Democrat Party against innocent Republican Donors and Party Members are absolutely unprecedented, and totally illegal. Please report them to the Department of Justice, IMMEDIATELY! If you would like, send them directly to me, your President. These SLEAZEBAGS should go to jail for what they are doing. The Senate must act, and stop being pushed around to the point of the Republican Party losing Elections, and worse! Likewise, the DOJ and House of Representatives. Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP

The Sud de la France version

Sud de la France

Satire

Oh, c’est une honte, une honte comme on n’en a jamais vu depuis l’invention de l’aïoli ! On menace nos amis ! Envoyez tout à la justice, et tout de suite !

Ou envoyez-le-moi, à moi, votre Président : je m’en occupe personnellement, comme un pastis, sans attendre et sans eau. Ces fadas, en prison ! Bon, après le procès, hein. S’il y en a un.

English version

Oh, it’s a disgrace, a disgrace like nobody’s seen since the invention of garlic mayonnaise! They’re threatening our friends! Send it all to the justice department, right now!

Or send it to me, your President: I’ll deal with it personally, like a pastis, straight away and without water. Those lunatics, to jail! Well, after the trial, mind. If there is one.

Lost in translation
  • Pastis, the anise drink of the south, is always served with water. Without it, it is far too strong.

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An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.