Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

The Diplomat · The Swiss President

Send them directly to me

Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrump · Truth Social ·

Original

The threats being made by the Democrat Party against innocent Republican Donors and Party Members are absolutely unprecedented, and totally illegal. Please report them to the Department of Justice, IMMEDIATELY! If you would like, send them directly to me, your President. These SLEAZEBAGS should go to jail for what they are doing. The Senate must act, and stop being pushed around to the point of the Republican Party losing Elections, and worse! Likewise, the DOJ and House of Representatives. Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP

The Swiss President

The Swiss PresidentA President of the Swiss Confederation

Satire

The Federal Council takes seriously any threat against citizens who take part in political life. In Switzerland, such cases are reported to the police and handled by independent prosecutors, whatever the party of those involved.

We are attached to the separation of powers, and we have found that it works best when each power keeps its own letterbox.

Version française

Le Conseil fédéral prend au sérieux toute menace visant des citoyens engagés dans la vie politique. En Suisse, de tels cas sont signalés à la police et traités par des procureurs indépendants, quel que soit le parti des personnes concernées.

Nous sommes attachés à la séparation des pouvoirs, et nous avons constaté qu’elle fonctionne au mieux lorsque chaque pouvoir garde sa propre boîte aux lettres.

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An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.