Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

France · The Ch’ti edition

Send them directly to me

Donald J. Trump

Original

The threats being made by the Democrat Party against innocent Republican Donors and Party Members are absolutely unprecedented, and totally illegal. Please report them to the Department of Justice, IMMEDIATELY! If you would like, send them directly to me, your President. These SLEAZEBAGS should go to jail for what they are doing. The Senate must act, and stop being pushed around to the point of the Republican Party losing Elections, and worse! Likewise, the DOJ and House of Representatives. Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP

The Ch’ti version

Ch’ti (France)

Satire

Eh biloute, paraît qu’y a des gens qui reçoivent des lettres pas gentilles. Ichi, une lettre pas gentille, on l’amène au commissariat. Pas à la mairie, et encore moins au président.

Et on dit pas « en prison » avant d’avoir écouté l’aut’ côté. Ch’est comme ça qu’on fait dans l’Nord : on s’engueule, puis on boit un coup ensemble.

English version

Hey pal, apparently some people are getting nasty letters. Up here, you take a nasty letter to the police station. Not to the town hall, and certainly not to the president.

And you don’t shout “to jail” before hearing the other side. That’s how we do it in the North: we have a row, then we have a drink together.

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An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.