Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

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Switzerland · The Vaudois edition

We would have won in a landslide

Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrump · Truth Social ·

Original

I wasn’t on the Ballot and if I was, we would have won IN A LANDSLIDE! Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP

The Vaudois version

Vaudois (Switzerland)Vaud: Morges, Lausanne, Yverdon

Satire

J’étais pas sur le bulletin. Et si j’y avais été, on aurait gagné, et pas qu’un peu : un raz-de-marée.

Bon, je dis ça, je dis rien. Chez nous on dit « y en a point comme nous », mais on le dit doucement, entre deux verres de chasselas, pas en majuscules. Alors disons qu’on aurait gagné… faut voir. Merci de votre attention, quand vous aurez un moment.

English version

I wasn’t on the ballot. And if I had been, we’d have won, and not by a little: a landslide.

Well, I’m just saying, I’m not saying anything. Round here we say “there’s nobody like us”, but we say it quietly, between two glasses of Chasselas, not in capital letters. So let’s say we would have won… we’ll see. Thank you for your attention, whenever you have a moment.

Lost in translation
  • “Y en a point comme nous” (“there’s nobody like us”) is the Vaud motto of cheerful self-satisfaction; Chasselas is the white grape of the Lavaux vineyards. “Faut voir” (“we’ll see”) is the classic Vaudois non-answer.

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