Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

The Diplomat · The British Diplomat

We would have won in a landslide

Donald J. Trump

Original

I wasn’t on the Ballot and if I was, we would have won IN A LANDSLIDE! Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP

The British Diplomat

The British Diplomat

Satire

His Majesty’s Government notes that the President was not a candidate in these elections, and that he has nonetheless taken a close interest in their outcome.

In our experience, hypothetical elections are the most reliably won. We wish the newly elected members of Congress every success.

What he really means

He wasn’t standing.

He would like you to know he would have won anyway. Nobody can prove otherwise, which is rather the beauty of it.

All versionsVaudoisValaisanParisienSud de la FranceTexasBostonScotlandThe French DiplomatThe Swiss President

An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.