I wasn’t on the Ballot and if I was, we would have won IN A LANDSLIDE! Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP
United Kingdom · The Scotland edition
We would have won in a landslide
Donald J. Trump
OriginalThe Scotland version
Scotland (United Kingdom)
SatireI wasn’t even on the ballot. And if I had been, we’d have won in a landslide. A proper one, not a wee one.
Mind you, we know a thing or two about results up here. We gave the world the television you watched them on, and the telephone you’d have phoned to complain. Anyone who says I wouldn’t have won? Aye, right. Thanks for your attention to this matter.
In plain English
He wasn’t a candidate, but says he would have won a “proper” landslide, not a “wee” (small) one.
He reminds everyone that Scots gave the world the television (John Logie Baird) and the telephone (Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh), and answers any doubters with “aye, right”: the famous Scottish double positive that means “no chance”.
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