Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

Switzerland · The Vaudois edition

Extortion at the highest level

Donald J. Trump

Original

The Democrats are going around threatening a lot of people, including the Attorney General of the United States, and others, with Impeachment and many other forms of punishment, even though they admit they have no reason to do so, and there have been no impeachable acts committed, or even thought of, by the victims of this illegal process. This is extortion at the highest level, and they should be held accountable for this. Also, they’re threatening our Donors, some of the most respected people anywhere in the World, with imprisonment, and many other levels of punishment, just because they happen to be Republicans, or Republican supporters. This is Weaponization and Lawfare at another level. The Senator from Michigan, Elissa Slotkin, is saying that she is going to go after all young people that believe in Republican Values, and that give even the slightest inclination to be a Republican. The imprisonment should be against these EXTORTIONISTS, and Republicans should get smart, fast! Threatening letters have been sent to many people, all innocent, from Democrat Political Leaders. By copy of this statement, I am ordering the Department of Justice to look into this criminal act, immediately! President DONALD J. TRUMP

The Vaudois version

Vaudois (Switzerland)

Satire

Bon. Il dit qu’on menace ses amis de destitution sans raison, et que c’est de l’extorsion « au plus haut niveau ». Chez nous, le plus haut niveau, ce sont les Diablerets, et on y monte à pied, sans menacer personne.

Qui a raison ? Faut voir. Mais crier « en prison » à tout bout de champ, ça joue pas trop, ou bien ?

English version

Well. He says his friends are being threatened with impeachment for no reason, and that it’s extortion “at the highest level”. Round here, the highest level is the top of the Diablerets, and we walk up there without threatening anyone.

Who’s right? We’ll see. But shouting “to jail” at every turn doesn’t really work, does it?

Lost in translation
  • Les Diablerets (3,210 m) is the highest summit of the canton of Vaud.

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