Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

The Diplomat · The British Diplomat

Extortion at the highest level

Donald J. Trump

Original

The Democrats are going around threatening a lot of people, including the Attorney General of the United States, and others, with Impeachment and many other forms of punishment, even though they admit they have no reason to do so, and there have been no impeachable acts committed, or even thought of, by the victims of this illegal process. This is extortion at the highest level, and they should be held accountable for this. Also, they’re threatening our Donors, some of the most respected people anywhere in the World, with imprisonment, and many other levels of punishment, just because they happen to be Republicans, or Republican supporters. This is Weaponization and Lawfare at another level. The Senator from Michigan, Elissa Slotkin, is saying that she is going to go after all young people that believe in Republican Values, and that give even the slightest inclination to be a Republican. The imprisonment should be against these EXTORTIONISTS, and Republicans should get smart, fast! Threatening letters have been sent to many people, all innocent, from Democrat Political Leaders. By copy of this statement, I am ordering the Department of Justice to look into this criminal act, immediately! President DONALD J. TRUMP

The British Diplomat

The British Diplomat

Satire

His Majesty’s Government does not comment on the domestic political affairs of our closest ally, and will therefore confine itself to a general observation.

Impeachment, prosecution and imprisonment are serious matters. In our experience they are best decided by parliaments and courts respectively, and only rarely by press release.

What he really means

We don’t comment. But we will anyway:

a president should not order prosecutions in a social media post.

All versionsVaudoisFribourgeoisNeuchâteloisParisienSud de la FranceBretonCaliforniaMidwestLondonThe French DiplomatThe Swiss President

An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.