Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

Switzerland · The Fribourgeois edition

Extortion at the highest level

Donald J. Trump

Original

The Democrats are going around threatening a lot of people, including the Attorney General of the United States, and others, with Impeachment and many other forms of punishment, even though they admit they have no reason to do so, and there have been no impeachable acts committed, or even thought of, by the victims of this illegal process. This is extortion at the highest level, and they should be held accountable for this. Also, they’re threatening our Donors, some of the most respected people anywhere in the World, with imprisonment, and many other levels of punishment, just because they happen to be Republicans, or Republican supporters. This is Weaponization and Lawfare at another level. The Senator from Michigan, Elissa Slotkin, is saying that she is going to go after all young people that believe in Republican Values, and that give even the slightest inclination to be a Republican. The imprisonment should be against these EXTORTIONISTS, and Republicans should get smart, fast! Threatening letters have been sent to many people, all innocent, from Democrat Political Leaders. By copy of this statement, I am ordering the Department of Justice to look into this criminal act, immediately! President DONALD J. TRUMP

The Fribourgeois version

Fribourgeois (Switzerland)

Satire

Salut les gaillards ! Il dit qu’on menace ses amis et ses donateurs, et que c’est de l’extorsion.

Chez nous, à Fribourg, on a deux langues et on s’entend quand même. Quand ça chauffe, on ne crie pas « en prison » : on fait une fondue moitié-moitié. Moitié pour toi, moitié pour moi. Ça calme tout le monde.

English version

Hey folks! He says his friends and donors are being threatened, and that it’s extortion.

In Fribourg we speak two languages and still get along. When things heat up, we don’t shout “to jail”: we make a half-and-half fondue. Half for you, half for me. It calms everyone down.

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