Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

The Diplomat · The Swiss President

Extortion at the highest level

Donald J. Trump

Original

The Democrats are going around threatening a lot of people, including the Attorney General of the United States, and others, with Impeachment and many other forms of punishment, even though they admit they have no reason to do so, and there have been no impeachable acts committed, or even thought of, by the victims of this illegal process. This is extortion at the highest level, and they should be held accountable for this. Also, they’re threatening our Donors, some of the most respected people anywhere in the World, with imprisonment, and many other levels of punishment, just because they happen to be Republicans, or Republican supporters. This is Weaponization and Lawfare at another level. The Senator from Michigan, Elissa Slotkin, is saying that she is going to go after all young people that believe in Republican Values, and that give even the slightest inclination to be a Republican. The imprisonment should be against these EXTORTIONISTS, and Republicans should get smart, fast! Threatening letters have been sent to many people, all innocent, from Democrat Political Leaders. By copy of this statement, I am ordering the Department of Justice to look into this criminal act, immediately! President DONALD J. TRUMP

The Swiss President

The Swiss President

Satire

The Federal Council does not comment on the internal politics of friendly countries.

We would only recall that in Switzerland there is no impeachment of a member of the government: Parliament simply decides, every four years, whether to re-elect them. And the people vote four times a year, which leaves very little time for threatening letters.

Version française

Le Conseil fédéral ne commente pas la politique intérieure des pays amis.

Nous rappellerons seulement qu’en Suisse, il n’existe pas de destitution d’un membre du gouvernement : le Parlement décide simplement, tous les quatre ans, de le réélire ou non. Et le peuple vote quatre fois par an, ce qui laisse très peu de temps pour les lettres de menace.

Lost in translation
  • Swiss federal votes are held four times a year; members of the Federal Council are elected by Parliament for four years and cannot be removed during their term.

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