Switzerland · The Vaudois edition
The very stable genius
Never says yes or no when “faut voir” will do. Understatement is a sport; enthusiasm is suspicious.
Original statement · verbatim, not satire
….Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star…..
….to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius….and a very stable genius at that!
Wording to be checked against the source before launch
The Vaudois version
Vaudois, in the original
Bon. Y en a qui disent que j’ai plus toute ma tête. Moi je dis rien, hein. J’aurais meilleur temps de me taire. Mais quand même.
J’ai eu une entreprise qui tournait pas si mal, j’ai fait un peu de télé, et pis je suis devenu président du premier coup. Alors génie, génie… Faut voir. Je dirais pas génie. Je dirais que ça joue.
Et stable avec ça : trois verres de chasselas à Lavaux et je tiens encore debout sur la terrasse. Allez, y a pas le feu au lac. On en reparle à tantôt, ou bien ?
The English adaptation
Well. Some people are saying I’ve lost my marbles. I’m not saying anything, mind you. I’d be better off keeping quiet. But still.
I had a business that did all right, I did a bit of TV, and then I became president on the first go. So, genius… we’ll see. I wouldn’t say genius. I’d say it’s fine. It works.
And stable, too: three glasses of the local white on a vineyard terrace and I’m still standing. Come on, no rush, the lake isn’t on fire. We’ll talk about it later, yeah?
Lost in translation: the notes
- “Faut voir” (we’ll see) is the Vaudois national answer to any question: never yes, never no.
- “Ça joue” means “it works, it’s fine”. In Vaud, it is also the highest possible praise.
- “Y a pas le feu au lac”, literally “the lake isn’t on fire”: there is no hurry. Lake Geneva has never been on fire.
- “À tantôt” means “see you later today”. “Ou bien ?” turns any sentence into a question, or a request for agreement.
Draft: awaiting review by a local speaker
For comparison
The presidential version · satire
I have seen the questions raised this week about my fitness for office, and I understand why Americans want to hear from their President directly. Questions like these deserve an answer, not an insult. I have been…
Other editions: ValaisanGenevoisParisienSud de la France · All versions
An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.