France
France
From the Paris terrace to the Marseille pétanque court: the statement adapted to the moods and expressions of France’s regions.
The very stable genius
Original: “….Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star….. ….to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius….and a very stable genius at that!”
France: the editions
Parisien Paris
Parisien, in the original
Bon, on va pas y passer la nuit. Y a des gens qui doutent de ma santé mentale. Franchement, j’ai vu pire sur la ligne 13 à huit heures et demie.
J’ai monté une boîte, j’ai fait de la télé, j’ai été élu du premier coup. Sans piston. Enfin, presque.
Génie ? Le mot est faible, mais je suis modeste. Stable ? Plus que le RER B, en tout cas. Allez, j’ai une terrasse qui m’attend et un serveur qui va me regarder de haut.
The English adaptation
Right, let’s not make a whole night of it. Some people doubt my mental health. Honestly, I’ve seen worse on the subway at rush hour.
I started a company, did some TV, got elected on the first try. No connections. Well, almost none.
Genius? That’s an understatement, but I’m a modest man. Stable? More stable than the Paris commuter train, anyway. Now, I have a café terrace waiting for me and a waiter who’s going to look down on me.
Lost in translation: the notes
- Métro line 13 at rush hour is the Parisian benchmark for human suffering.
- The RER B, which links Paris to its airports, is famous for its delays. Comparing anything to it is never a compliment.
- “Sans piston”: without string-pulling. The “enfin, presque” does the rest.
Draft: awaiting review by a local speaker
Sud de la France Marseille, Provence
Sud de la France, in the original
Oh fan de chichourle ! Y en a qui disent que je suis fada ? Moi ? Peuchère…
Écoutez-moi bien : j’ai monté une affaire qui marchait du tonnerre, j’ai fait la télé, et je suis devenu président du premier coup. Dégun avait jamais vu ça ! Alors oui, je le dis tranquille, à l’ombre du platane : je suis un génie.
Et stable, hein ! Même avec le mistral à cent à l’heure, je bouge pas d’un poil. Vous me croyez pas ? C’est comme la sardine qui a bouché le port de Marseille : c’est vrai, je vous jure. Enfin… presque.
The English adaptation
Well, blow me down! Some people say I’m crazy? Me? Oh, bless them…
Listen to me carefully: I ran a business that was doing fantastically, I did TV, and I became president on the first try. Nobody had ever seen anything like it! So yes, I’ll say it calmly, in the shade of the plane tree: I am a genius.
And stable, eh! Even with the mistral blowing at a hundred kilometres an hour, I don’t budge an inch. You don’t believe me? It’s like the sardine that blocked the port of Marseille: it’s true, I swear. Well… almost.
Lost in translation: the notes
- “Fan de chichourle!” is a Provençal exclamation of surprise. It has no translation and needs none.
- “Fada” means crazy; “peuchère” expresses pity, tenderness or irony, depending on the shrug.
- “Dégun” means nobody. The mistral is the violent wind of the Rhône valley and Provence.
- The sardine that blocked the port of Marseille is the region’s proverbial tall tale. A popular explanation says it was really a ship named the Sartine. Marseille kept the better version.
Draft: awaiting review by a local speaker
Covfefe
Original: “Despite the constant negative press covfefe”
France: the editions
Ch’ti Nord: Lille, Valenciennes
Ch’ti, in the original
Eh biloute ! Malgré tous chés journalisses qui dis’tent du mal ed mi tout l’temps… covfefe.
Ch’est pas un mot, ch’est un éternuement. Avec l’drache qu’on a eue toute la semaine, t’aurais été enrhumé aussi.
Allez, viens boire un jus à la maison, on va pas en faire un fromage. Même pas un maroilles.
The English adaptation
Hey, buddy! Despite all those journalists badmouthing me all the time… covfefe.
It’s not a word, it’s a sneeze. With the downpour we’ve had all week, you’d have caught a cold too.
Come on, come over for a coffee, let’s not make a big cheese out of it. Not even a stinky one.
Lost in translation: the notes
- “Biloute” is an affectionate Ch’ti word for a friend, a kid, or anyone you like.
- “La drache” is a heavy downpour, a regular feature of northern French weather.
- “En faire un fromage” means to make a fuss. Maroilles is the Nord’s famously pungent cheese.
- In the North, “un jus” is a coffee, and an invitation home comes faster than the rain.
Draft: awaiting review by a local speaker
Nobody knew health care could be so complicated
Original: “Now, I have to tell you, it’s an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.”
France: the editions
Lyonnais Lyon
Lyonnais, in the original
Personne savait que la santé, c’était si compliqué ? Oh, les gones, faut arrêter le beaujolais nouveau.
N’importe quel Lyonnais vous le dira : c’est plus simple de traverser la Presqu’île par les traboules sans se perdre que de comprendre une feuille de remboursement.
Bon, on en reparle au bouchon, autour d’un tablier de sapeur et d’un pot de côtes-du-rhône. Et après, promis, on réforme.
The English adaptation
Nobody knew health care was so complicated? Come on, guys, lay off the new wine.
Any Lyonnais will tell you: it’s easier to cross the old town through the secret passageways without getting lost than to understand a medical reimbursement form.
Right, let’s discuss it over lunch at the bistro, with some fried tripe and a jug of red. And after that, I promise, we reform.
Lost in translation: the notes
- “Gone” is Lyon slang for a kid, or a fellow Lyonnais of any age.
- Traboules are the covered passageways that run through buildings in old Lyon. Tourists get lost in them; locals pretend not to.
- A bouchon is a traditional Lyon bistro. The tablier de sapeur is breaded, fried tripe. A “pot” is a 46-centilitre bottle of house wine.
Draft: awaiting review by a local speaker