Twitter · 31 May 2017
Covfefe
Six words, one of which does not exist. The post stayed up for hours. A real president would have issued a correction; Fribourg and the Nord have other explanations.
The original
Original statement · verbatim, not satire
Despite the constant negative press covfefe
Wording to be checked against the source before launch
The presidential version
The presidential version · satire
Despite persistent criticism in the press, my administration remains focused on the work the American people elected us to do. A free press is entitled to its criticism, and we are entitled to answer it with results.
Correction: an earlier message from this account was sent incomplete. We regret the error.
What changed
- Finishes the sentence.
- Treats the press as a fact of democracy rather than an enemy.
- Corrects the mistake instead of letting the spokesman explain it.
Lire la version présidentielle en français
Malgré les critiques persistantes de la presse, mon administration reste concentrée sur la mission que les Américains lui ont confiée. Une presse libre a le droit de critiquer ; nous avons le devoir de répondre par des résultats.
Rectificatif : un précédent message de ce compte a été publié incomplet. Nous prions nos lecteurs de nous en excuser.
The Swiss edition
Switzerland: edition of the day
Fribourgeois Fribourg, La Gruyère
Fribourgeois, in the original
Salut les gaillards ! Malgré tout ce que les journaux racontent sur moi à longueur de journée… covfefe.
Bon. Ceux d’en dehors du canton ont cru à une faute de frappe. Mais chez nous, en Gruyère, après une Bénichon, trois verres de vin et la moutarde de Bénichon, tout le monde parle comme ça, et personne ne demande de traduction.
D’ailleurs, de l’autre côté de la Sarine, ils ont compris tout de suite. Ils ont dit « Genau ». Allez, on finit la moitié-moitié avant qu’elle refroidisse.
The English adaptation
Hey folks! Despite everything the papers say about me all day long… covfefe.
Now, people from outside the canton thought it was a typo. But here in Gruyère, after a harvest festival, three glasses of wine and the festival’s sweet mustard, everybody talks like that, and nobody asks for a translation.
Besides, across the river, in the German-speaking part, they got it right away. They said “Exactly.” Come on, let’s finish the fondue before it gets cold.
Lost in translation: the notes
- The Bénichon is Fribourg’s autumn harvest festival: a meal of many courses served with a sweet, spiced “moutarde de Bénichon”.
- The Sarine river roughly marks the language border: French on one bank, German on the other. “Genau” means “exactly”.
- Moitié-moitié (“half and half”) is the Fribourg fondue: half Gruyère, half Vacherin fribourgeois.
Draft: awaiting review by a local speaker
The French edition
France: edition of the day
Ch’ti Nord: Lille, Valenciennes
Ch’ti, in the original
Eh biloute ! Malgré tous chés journalisses qui dis’tent du mal ed mi tout l’temps… covfefe.
Ch’est pas un mot, ch’est un éternuement. Avec l’drache qu’on a eue toute la semaine, t’aurais été enrhumé aussi.
Allez, viens boire un jus à la maison, on va pas en faire un fromage. Même pas un maroilles.
The English adaptation
Hey, buddy! Despite all those journalists badmouthing me all the time… covfefe.
It’s not a word, it’s a sneeze. With the downpour we’ve had all week, you’d have caught a cold too.
Come on, come over for a coffee, let’s not make a big cheese out of it. Not even a stinky one.
Lost in translation: the notes
- “Biloute” is an affectionate Ch’ti word for a friend, a kid, or anyone you like.
- “La drache” is a heavy downpour, a regular feature of northern French weather.
- “En faire un fromage” means to make a fuss. Maroilles is the Nord’s famously pungent cheese.
- In the North, “un jus” is a coffee, and an invitation home comes faster than the rain.
Draft: awaiting review by a local speaker
An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.