Switzerland · The Fribourgeois edition
Covfefe
Lives astride the language border, measures the year in Bénichons and settles every debate over a moitié-moitié.
Original statement · verbatim, not satire
Despite the constant negative press covfefe
Wording to be checked against the source before launch
The Fribourgeois version
Fribourgeois, in the original
Salut les gaillards ! Malgré tout ce que les journaux racontent sur moi à longueur de journée… covfefe.
Bon. Ceux d’en dehors du canton ont cru à une faute de frappe. Mais chez nous, en Gruyère, après une Bénichon, trois verres de vin et la moutarde de Bénichon, tout le monde parle comme ça, et personne ne demande de traduction.
D’ailleurs, de l’autre côté de la Sarine, ils ont compris tout de suite. Ils ont dit « Genau ». Allez, on finit la moitié-moitié avant qu’elle refroidisse.
The English adaptation
Hey folks! Despite everything the papers say about me all day long… covfefe.
Now, people from outside the canton thought it was a typo. But here in Gruyère, after a harvest festival, three glasses of wine and the festival’s sweet mustard, everybody talks like that, and nobody asks for a translation.
Besides, across the river, in the German-speaking part, they got it right away. They said “Exactly.” Come on, let’s finish the fondue before it gets cold.
Lost in translation: the notes
- The Bénichon is Fribourg’s autumn harvest festival: a meal of many courses served with a sweet, spiced “moutarde de Bénichon”.
- The Sarine river roughly marks the language border: French on one bank, German on the other. “Genau” means “exactly”.
- Moitié-moitié (“half and half”) is the Fribourg fondue: half Gruyère, half Vacherin fribourgeois.
Draft: awaiting review by a local speaker
For comparison
The presidential version · satire
Despite persistent criticism in the press, my administration remains focused on the work the American people elected us to do. A free press is entitled to its criticism, and we are entitled to answer it with results…
Other editions: Ch’ti · All versions
An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.