France · The Ch’ti edition
Covfefe
Warm, teasing, endlessly hospitable. Rain is “la drache” and everybody is “biloute”.
Original statement · verbatim, not satire
Despite the constant negative press covfefe
Wording to be checked against the source before launch
The Ch’ti version
Ch’ti, in the original
Eh biloute ! Malgré tous chés journalisses qui dis’tent du mal ed mi tout l’temps… covfefe.
Ch’est pas un mot, ch’est un éternuement. Avec l’drache qu’on a eue toute la semaine, t’aurais été enrhumé aussi.
Allez, viens boire un jus à la maison, on va pas en faire un fromage. Même pas un maroilles.
The English adaptation
Hey, buddy! Despite all those journalists badmouthing me all the time… covfefe.
It’s not a word, it’s a sneeze. With the downpour we’ve had all week, you’d have caught a cold too.
Come on, come over for a coffee, let’s not make a big cheese out of it. Not even a stinky one.
Lost in translation: the notes
- “Biloute” is an affectionate Ch’ti word for a friend, a kid, or anyone you like.
- “La drache” is a heavy downpour, a regular feature of northern French weather.
- “En faire un fromage” means to make a fuss. Maroilles is the Nord’s famously pungent cheese.
- In the North, “un jus” is a coffee, and an invitation home comes faster than the rain.
Draft: awaiting review by a local speaker
For comparison
The presidential version · satire
Despite persistent criticism in the press, my administration remains focused on the work the American people elected us to do. A free press is entitled to its criticism, and we are entitled to answer it with results…
Other editions: Fribourgeois · All versions
An independent satirical project. Original statements are sourced and attributed. All presidential and regional adaptations are fictional, AI-assisted editorial interpretations.