Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British
Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.United States · Minnesota, Ohio, Iowa
Friendly, modest and practical. Would never say no to your face, and will bring a casserole either way.
Donald J. Trump
OriginalI will be interviewed tonight on “60 Minutes.” Hopefully, they will show all the good things we’ve done over the past 2 years, not even including the First Term, which was incredible. If we get help from the Republican Senate, we can still do things that are unbelievable! President DJT
The Midwest version
Midwest (United States)
SatireWell, I’ll be on 60 Minutes tonight, if anybody’s interested. I sure hope they show some of the good things we’ve done these past two years.
I don’t like to brag, but the first term went pretty darn well too. And if the folks in the Senate could lend a hand, why, we could get a whole lot done. No pressure.
Midwestern modesty: he mentions the interview almost apologetically and hopes they’ll show a few good things.
He “doesn’t like to brag” (while bragging a little) and asks the Senate for help in the most polite way possible.
Donald J. Trump
OriginalThe Democrats are going around threatening a lot of people, including the Attorney General of the United States, and others, with Impeachment and many other forms of punishment, even though they admit they have no reason to do so, and there have been no impeachable acts committed, or even thought of, by the victims of this illegal process. This is extortion at the highest level, and they should be held accountable for this. Also, they’re threatening our Donors, some of the most respected people anywhere in the World, with imprisonment, and many other levels of punishment, just because they happen to be Republicans, or Republican supporters. This is Weaponization and Lawfare at another level. The Senator from Michigan, Elissa Slotkin, is saying that she is going to go after all young people that believe in Republican Values, and that give even the slightest inclination to be a Republican. The imprisonment should be against these EXTORTIONISTS, and Republicans should get smart, fast! Threatening letters have been sent to many people, all innocent, from Democrat Political Leaders. By copy of this statement, I am ordering the Department of Justice to look into this criminal act, immediately! President DONALD J. TRUMP
The Midwest version
Midwest (United States)
SatireWell, sounds like an awful lot of folks are upset with each other right now. Threatening letters aren’t very neighborly, whoever’s sending them.
But ordering the Justice Department around from your phone? That’s not how we’d go about it either. Out here we’d sit everybody down, put on a pot of coffee and let the judge figure it out.
The Midwest dislikes threats from anyone, and also dislikes a president giving orders to the Justice Department by social media post.
Its solution: calm down, talk it over, and let the courts decide.
Donald J. Trump
OriginalAs President, I am 100% in favor of Super Intelligence (SI), and will work with the many States in the U.S. that want to become RICH by having them. They are GOLD, and only foolish leadership will say “NO” to the riches they bring! President DJT
The Midwest version
Midwest (United States)
SatireWell, I’m pretty much a hundred percent for super intelligence, if that’s okay with everybody. The states that want it could do real well. It’s like gold, you know?
Now, the ones that say no, I wouldn’t call them foolish, exactly. I’d just say, “Oh, that’s an interesting choice,” and bring them a hotdish.
He supports AI, Midwestern style: modestly and checking it’s fine with everyone first.
He won’t call refusers foolish outright: “that’s an interesting choice” is as close as the Midwest gets to an insult, followed by a casserole.