Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British
Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.United Kingdom · Glasgow, Edinburgh
Sharp, ironic and colourful. Invented half the modern world and remains unimpressed by the other half.
Donald J. Trump
OriginalAs President, I am 100% in favor of Super Intelligence (SI), and will work with the many States in the U.S. that want to become RICH by having them. They are GOLD, and only foolish leadership will say “NO” to the riches they bring! President DJT
The Scotland version
Scotland (United Kingdom)
SatireA hundred per cent for super intelligence, me. Any place that wants it will be rolling in gold.
And anyone who says no is a numpty, plain and simple. We already invented half the modern world in Scotland: the telephone, the television, penicillin. I’m just finishing the job. You’re welcome.
He’s fully for AI and promises gold to those who adopt it.
Refusers are “numpties” (Scottish for fools), and he reminds everyone how many inventions came from Scots.
Donald J. Trump
OriginalI wasn’t on the Ballot and if I was, we would have won IN A LANDSLIDE! Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP
The Scotland version
Scotland (United Kingdom)
SatireI wasn’t even on the ballot. And if I had been, we’d have won in a landslide. A proper one, not a wee one.
Mind you, we know a thing or two about results up here. We gave the world the television you watched them on, and the telephone you’d have phoned to complain. Anyone who says I wouldn’t have won? Aye, right. Thanks for your attention to this matter.
He wasn’t a candidate, but says he would have won a “proper” landslide, not a “wee” (small) one.
He reminds everyone that Scots gave the world the television (John Logie Baird) and the telephone (Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh), and answers any doubters with “aye, right”: the famous Scottish double positive that means “no chance”.