I am pleased to announce that the Great Dana White, a violent Fighter and Warrior, has been offered the job of Press Secretary of the United States. I have requested that he bring with him assistants, even though some are not from our Country, of Islam Makhachev, Khabib Nurmagomedov, Justin Gaethje, Daniel Cormier, Amanda Nunes, and Kayla Harris. We need these people to defend us against the Lunatic Left. Dana will be a Press Secretary like none other. Dana, please take the job! President DONALD J. TRUMP
The Liverpool version
Liverpool (United Kingdom)Liverpool, Merseyside
Satire
I’ve offered Dana White the press secretary job, lad. Proper fighter. Told him to bring his mates, a few of them not from round here, to sort out the Lunatic Left.
A press office full of fighters? Sounds like a Saturday night in town. Dana, go ’ed, take the job. And bring Khabib round ours for a brew.
In plain English
He’s hired a real fighter as press secretary, with his mates as backup.
In Liverpool, a room full of fighters just sounds like a night out; he invites them all over for a cup of tea.
As President, I am 100% in favor of Super Intelligence (SI), and will work with the many States in the U.S. that want to become RICH by having them. They are GOLD, and only foolish leadership will say “NO” to the riches they bring! President DJT
The Liverpool version
Liverpool (United Kingdom)Liverpool, Merseyside
Satire
Super intelligence, lad? I’m all for it, a hundred per cent. Any city that wants it is gonna be minted. It’s gold.
And the ones saying no? Soft, that is. Proper soft. Last thing that made this city rich was four fellas with guitars, so if this can write a song half as good, I’ll have two.
In plain English
He’s fully for AI: the cities that adopt it will be “minted”, very rich.
Refusers are “soft”, Liverpool for foolish. And he’ll take two if it can write songs like the Beatles.