Independent satire 9 November 2026 Swiss · French · American · British
Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.United States · Los Angeles, San Francisco
Relaxed, casual, optimistic and quietly ironic. Is probably building the thing you are worried about.
Donald J. Trump
OriginalI will be interviewed tonight on “60 Minutes.” Hopefully, they will show all the good things we’ve done over the past 2 years, not even including the First Term, which was incredible. If we get help from the Republican Senate, we can still do things that are unbelievable! President DJT
The California version
California (United States)
SatireSo I’m doing 60 Minutes tonight. Hopefully they show all the good stuff from the past two years. Honestly, it’s been a whole journey. The first term? Incredible. Very on-brand.
If the Senate gets on board, we can totally manifest some unbelievable things. Let’s just keep the energy positive.
He hopes the interview will be positive, calls his two years “a journey”, and says the first term was “on-brand”, in the language of Californian wellness and marketing.
With the Senate’s help, he wants to “manifest” big results: a Los Angeles way of saying “achieve”.
Donald J. Trump
OriginalThe Democrats are going around threatening a lot of people, including the Attorney General of the United States, and others, with Impeachment and many other forms of punishment, even though they admit they have no reason to do so, and there have been no impeachable acts committed, or even thought of, by the victims of this illegal process. This is extortion at the highest level, and they should be held accountable for this. Also, they’re threatening our Donors, some of the most respected people anywhere in the World, with imprisonment, and many other levels of punishment, just because they happen to be Republicans, or Republican supporters. This is Weaponization and Lawfare at another level. The Senator from Michigan, Elissa Slotkin, is saying that she is going to go after all young people that believe in Republican Values, and that give even the slightest inclination to be a Republican. The imprisonment should be against these EXTORTIONISTS, and Republicans should get smart, fast! Threatening letters have been sent to many people, all innocent, from Democrat Political Leaders. By copy of this statement, I am ordering the Department of Justice to look into this criminal act, immediately! President DONALD J. TRUMP
The California version
California (United States)
SatireOkay, so everyone’s threatening everyone with impeachment and prison and “lawfare at another level”? That is a lot of energy for one Saturday.
Maybe everybody takes a breath, goes for a hike and lets the courts do their thing. Ordering an investigation by social media post is, like, not the vibe.
California finds the whole quarrel exhausting: threats of impeachment and prison on all sides.
Its advice: everyone calm down and let the courts work. Ordering investigations by post is not a good look.
Donald J. Trump
OriginalAs President, I am 100% in favor of Super Intelligence (SI), and will work with the many States in the U.S. that want to become RICH by having them. They are GOLD, and only foolish leadership will say “NO” to the riches they bring! President DJT
The California version
California (United States)
SatireSo, I’m a hundred percent pro super intelligence. Honestly, it’s the future, and the states that lean in are going to be so abundant. Like, gold-level abundant.
The ones that say no? I don’t want to judge, but that’s a scarcity mindset. Very low-vibe. Kind of foolish, energetically.
He supports AI in the language of Californian self-help: states that “lean in” will know “abundance”.
Those who refuse have a “scarcity mindset”: a gentle, wellness-style way of calling them foolish.