Switzerland · Valais: Sion, Martigny, Sierre
The Valaisan edition
Says “Adieu” to say hello. Proud, mountain-hard, convinced the rest of Switzerland lives “en bas”.
The very stable genius
Original: “….Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star….. ….to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius….and a very stable genius at that!”
Valaisan, in the original
Adieu tout le monde ! Ça va le chalet ? Paraît qu’à Berne et chez les gens d’en bas, on se demande si j’ai toute ma tête.
Écoutez voir : j’ai monté une entreprise, j’ai fait la télé, et je suis arrivé tout en haut du premier coup, comme on monte à l’alpage, sans m’arrêter à chaque lacet.
Un génie ? Ici, on appelle ça avoir la tête dure. Et stable, ça oui : stable comme un mazot sur ses pierres plates. Allez, on boit un verre de fendant et on n’en parle plus.
The English adaptation
Hello everyone! How’s the chalet? Word is that down in Bern, and among the lowlanders, people wonder whether I’ve still got all my wits.
Listen here: I built a business, I did TV, and I got all the way to the top on the first try, the way you climb to the summer pasture, without stopping at every hairpin.
A genius? Up here we call that being stubborn as a mule. And stable, oh yes: stable as an old granary on its stone stilts. Come on, have a glass of white and let’s say no more about it.
Draft: awaiting review by a local speaker