Independent satire 6 November 2026 Today: Vaudois & Sud de la France editions

Big Beautiful Flop Making presidential statements presidential again.

Switzerland · Neuchâtel, La Chaux-de-Fonds

The Neuchâtelois edition

Makes watches with three hundred parts. Still argues about whether things belong “en haut” or “en bas”.

Nobody knew health care could be so complicated

Original: “Now, I have to tell you, it’s an unbelievably complex subject. Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.”

Neuchâtelois, in the original

Personne ne savait que la santé, c’était si compliqué ? Dans le canton, on le sait depuis longtemps : ça fait des années qu’on se dispute pour savoir si l’hôpital doit être en haut ou en bas.

Nous, on fabrique des montres avec trois cents pièces qui tiennent dans un dé à coudre. Alors les choses compliquées, on connaît.

Mais un système de santé, c’est plus compliqué qu’une montre à complications. Et en plus, ça ne donne même pas l’heure.

The English adaptation

Nobody knew health care was so complicated? In this canton we’ve known for ages: we’ve spent years arguing about whether the hospital should be up in the mountains or down by the lake.

We make watches with three hundred parts that fit inside a thimble. So complicated things, we know about.

But a health system is more complicated than a watch with complications. And on top of that, it doesn’t even tell the time.

Draft: awaiting review by a local speaker